Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize