Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
