We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dear god my vagina.
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