Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
