I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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