i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
