He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
