Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
