if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
