still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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