she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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