She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
