He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
