I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
