ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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