You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize