Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
