Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
