oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
