he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
