Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
