His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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