I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
