The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
