i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
