This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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