I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
