The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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