im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she smelled like a LAN party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
