I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
