I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
