I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize