try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
