Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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