mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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