i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize