Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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