so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize