She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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