id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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