He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
