if you like me you must not know who I am
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
