At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
