Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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