youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
