Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize