We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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