she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
