after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
