2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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