If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is the high leading the old right now
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
