Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
