the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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