I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
