I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
