All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
