Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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