Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize